♪He was just a rookie trooper and he surely shook with fright
He checked off his equipment and made sure his pack was tight;
He had to sit and listen to those awful engines roar,
"You ain't gonna jump no more!"
Gory, gory, what a helluva way to die♪
I can’t hear the jumpmaster over the sound of the engines and the roaring wind, but I know what he’s saying. The private beside me confirms my suspicion as he echoes the jumpmaster’s warming of “Ten Minutes!” I yell “Ten Minutes!” to my right, “Ten Minutes!” to my left, and “Ten Minutes!” face down so everyone around me knows what the jumpmaster said. All too soon comes the echoed command of “Get ready!” I know what’s coming next, the command to stand up, that is when the terror begins to set in. Terror is the wrong word, nervous anticipation is more like it; it's like the trembling of an eager race horse in the starting gate. It can’t be terror because there is nowhere in the world that I'd rather be than in this C-130 flying 1250 feet above terra firma.
♪"Is everybody happy?" cried the Sargent looking up,
Our Hero feebly answered "Yes," and then they stood him up ♪
“Inboard personnel, Stand Up!” that’s not me, “Outboard personnel, Stand Up!” that’s me. I start struggling to my feet, with my combat gear, standing in the narrow isle is tough. By now the command to “Hook Up!” has already been passed down. I take the static line that attaches to the top of my parachute and clipped it to the cable running the length of the plane. “Check Static Lines!” I check to make sure mine is correctly attached; then I check the guy in front of me. His is good so I hit his helmet and yell “Safe!” “Check Equipment!” I intone “helmet, chinstrap, chest strap, left and right leg strap, hook-pile tape lowering line on the left side” while checking each piece of equipment as I name it. After checking the guy in front of me I receive a slap on the ass signifying that everyone behind me has been checked, I pass the signal forward.
Now that I’m standing I can see out one of the small windows for the first time, pitch black. This is my first night jump, and now I realize not only am I not going to be able to see my direction of drift, I’m not even going to be able to tell when I’m about to hit the damn ground.
♪Gory, gory, what a helluva way to die,
Gory, gory, what a helluva way to die,
Gory, gory, what a helluva way to die,
He ain't gonna jump no more! ♪
I see the red light. “One Minute!” …… “Thirty Seconds!” Then something strange happened, I became so focused on what I was about to do I forgot to be afraid. Green light “GO!GO!GO!” I shuffle toward the door, my fear abating with every step, eyes locked on the safety. I’m at the door, it’s only in my peripheral vision because I’m staring at my right hand to make sure the safety reaches and grabs my static line, he’s got it. I’ve practiced this part so many times I don’t even have to think about what to do. Turn left, hands on the sides of my reserve, take a big step.
♪He counted long, he counted loud, he waited for the shock,
He felt the wind, he felt the cold, he felt the awful drop
The silk from his reserve spilled out and wrapped around his legs,
And he ain't gonna jump no more. ♪
“ONE THOUSAND! TWO THOUSAND! THREE THOUS—UGHHHHH”
It’s a strange feeling when you jump out of a plane going more than two hundred miles an hour. You don’t fall down; you’re thrown sideways by the hand of god. There is no mistaking the feeling of your canopy opening, going from two hundred miles an hour to fifteen in a second or two. I try to look up at my canopy to make sure there are no holes in it but my risers are so twisted it’s forcing my head into my chest. Easy, I’ve practiced this; spread the risers and bicycle kick. SNAP! Good that means my lines are untwisted. No holes in my canopy? Great.
Time to get this damn gear off, pull the quick release and the rucksack drops to the bottom of the rope. I untie and unlatch the fake rifle at my side and it falls down to my gear. Now I can breathe, just have to land. It’s so dark I have no sense of my altitude, but now I realize I should be hitting any second. BAM! My gear just hit! Feet and knees together! Feet and knees together!!! And for the fifth time I hit the ground like a sack of shit. Pull the quick release pin so I don’t get dragged along the ground. Safely back on the ground all I can think is “Hahaha, still alive!”
♪He hit the ground, the sound was "Splat," his blood went spurting high,
His comrades then were heard to say: "A helluva way to die!"
He lay there rolling round in the welter of his gore,
And he ain't gonna jump no more.♪